Spellings Announces Americans Don't Understand Mall Geography

In a report in The Onion* U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings reported the findings of a study recently released that shows only 60% of Americans could identify where Payless shoes was on a map of a mall. In fact, many of the survey respondents didn't know how to identify where they were on a mall map, even with the "You Are Here" information provided.

The media source quotes Margaret Spellings as saying:

"In a modern, mall-going society, these important life skills should be second nature to citizens of all ages," Spellings said. "No schoolchild should be allowed to grow up ignorant of the varied chain stores around him."

* For anyone not familiar with The Onion, it's a humorous satirical representation of current events and issues.